I don't know if you already know... BUT... I LOVE LA #ILLA

Here's some footage from Phlex's class a few weeks back.... This song though.... Finally an album I can really relate to... Can you tell that momma is happy at home... ;-) I love dancing to music that I can actually feel, smell, taste, and exude.... Love you Phlex for this one!!!

M.I.A.

Hi guys!!!! I have missed you guys TREMENDOUSLY!!! I did not want to get back on this here thing... aka my blog... without anything to say/report! There has been so much where do I begin?!?!? I guess I can start with this past week and work back to August 1st right? A lot has happened within the last 4 and a half months!!! Sheesh where to begin?

Well for those that are not Facebook, Instagram or Twitter friends with me then you've been MISSING OUT! Below is a link to a show I did on December 22nd!!! Yes, I said SHOW!!! Get your life!!!!

Some photos from the show....

Club Eleven - in West Hollywood, CA

"Yonce" by Beyonce'

Choreography by Jeremy Copeland

... And if you didn't get enough here's our 2nd piece of the night!!!!

"Partician" - Beyonce'

Choreography by Jeremy Copeland

A Sobering Moment...

So last night I freaked out a little bit. Sitting in my room on my floor, looking around at all the things I'd have to pack. Most of it were clothes, but you guys have to remember I currently drive a Volkswagen Beetle.... Yeah, I know. *forehead slap*

Now, I know there are a few and quick ways to pack up my clown car (I love my boo though). But my anxiety was coming from some other place. While I am EXTREMELY excited, I'm also slightly nervous. Nervous about only minor things, but still nervous none the less. It's crazy though. My mind is really confusing excitement and anxiousness with being nervous. I'm not afraid of the unknown. I actually embrace it. I think I'm nervous, because I don't know what my new path is going to be like exactly. There is no book, YouTube video, wiki page that can give me any type of real guide on how to navigate my new journey. It's all being left up to my heart and my instincts. I think that's why I'm so nervous. I'm really going to have to trust myself and my intuition.

The training wheels are off at this point and there's only the sidewalk, this bike, and me. No one is holding onto my seat. Whew!!!! That felt great to say!!! I was really trying to figure out why I felt so anxious when I've been to LA quite a few times and am pretty familiar with it all. Okay... Now with that said don't forget to donate to my LA Fund and check out the video below! Thank you guys for tuning in. xoxoxoxo

So I did this dance video....

And it's here..... I had so much fun with this shoot. Long day but still fun. Thank you Allana for the opportunity and dope as grooves.... One of my favorite routines...Enjoy guys!!!

Concept Video!!!

So, I randomly got asked to do a concept video on Sunday, and it was the most fun that I've had in a long time dancing. I got the call, better yet text, on Saturday night for a 9a calltime Sunday. Thank you sweet baby jesus for my beauty day I had the night before!!!

What began as an, "oh... We'll only be a few hours," turned into an 8-hour day. I'm not complaining or anything I just knew better. Anything performance wise in my book is an all day affair regardless of a given time... I plan to be unavailable ALL DAY. LOL.... Instavideo <--- That's a video from the start of my day.... 

The song used for the concept video is from Iggy Azalea's mixtape Glory... Murda Bizness to be exact. I had no idea how dope Iggy was... Now I know. Thanks Allana I love new music!!! 

Especially tracks I can really dance to...  Below are a few shots of  the site we were on.... I'm sure it looks familiar.I should have the video for you all to see in a few days!!! I can't wait to see it!!!

It's a marathon and not a sprint.

Man that statement is an understatement..... I have been really keeping my head down and my focus forward. Things hadn't been happening in the time frame that I wanted it to, but I kept at it. I have surmounted the recent hurtles and now on the field. I'm in the game!!! I'm ready to play or at least practice... lol... I'm no longer waiting, buying my gear, or planning my practice schedule. I'm actually doing.

I am so excited for the next few weeks I can barely stand it! I have a lot of reasons to celebrate right now, but I want to forge on until I get to my ultimate goal. That's when I will decided to really celebrate. How will I celebrate? I will be booking my own plane ticket and a room for a sexy and exotic island to ... get this... relax. I want to afford a certain lifestyle and I know exactly how to get it. All that opposes me is time.

This is how I see my life in 3 years. This photo says so much my spirit.... To do what I love and afford everything my heart desires. This makes me so happy just looking at this photo. Whatever I envision is that that I create... I need not give examples, but I've got a laundry list of things that I can readily recall. I'm so excited to start on this new journey. Today has been a great day and am excited for the things to come.

Time is ticking away!!!!

I can't help but get ampped up everyday before work walking to my car... I'm thinking, "Man, in just a few days I will gassing up Blu to hit the road for LA." It's really hard for me to just get in my car and drive down the street to work. It really takes a lot out of me to not jump on the highway. I'm so close and whenever I get close to doing/accomplishing something I get restless.... I have no idea why I do this but I do.... I like completing things because I LOVE LOVE LOVE starting new projects. Is that weird?

I mean I get a high off of having and doing new things.... When I purchase new clothes or start planning a new journey I get stupid ampped. It's just the new energy and new ideas I get to create with each new project. The planning process of getting to LA is coming to a close with me being less than 3 weeks out!!! Eek! *passes out* ....... Okay, I'm okay. Now I'm mapping out my game plan for LA..... Nothing is set in stone of course but you have to have some type of plan/focus for that place. I can not wait to have those California rays beaming on my untanned skin..... I plan on catching up on my tan when I get there... :D


These are my thoughts for this morning. I have a feeling I'll be blogging all day. Stay tuned. OH! And don't forget to give whatever you can to my LA Fund <--- that's the link!!! Thanks guys!!!

Some eye candy... ;-)

Getting my life!!!!

So a few weeks ago I was given an amazing opportunity to do a dance photoshoot inspired by the everyday worker. This was so fun and random at the same time.... Here's a few shots from the shoot.

I was giving so much face in this bottom shot.... My eyes though... menacing.... lol... I had a great time in this shoot... I didn't really mind that I got a little wet. Happy Friday!!!!! OH! And don't forget that you can donate to my LA Fund here. Thanks guys!!!

Good morning!!!

I haven't posted in a few days... yep I know. lol.... Slacking?!?!? Not really.

 My life has really picked up as of late because D-day is getting closer and closer. I have a lot going on and am keeping my center so blogging hasn't really been my main agenda.

Where I am right now is making the final decisions on a lot of things. Where I'm going to stay, where I'm going to work, when I'm leaving, when I'm packing, how I'm going to pack, my game plan once I'm there, things that I have to do before I leave.... It's a lot more things that I didn't mention for the sake of not making this post excruciatingly long.

Yesterday I was so tempted to just get in the car and drive... Like drive to LA. LOL! I was so tempted and had to tell myself to just stick to the plan. The plan is what I've been executing was created months ago and I have just a few more weeks left. I don't plan on being so rigid when I move because I'm not normally like that. However, to get to where I want to be, which is LA, I needed to put a strategy together so that I could stay focused and be ready.

I am miss being the at a whim type of girl. Working a 9-5 puts you in a box and you allow your life only to happen/exist outside of those times. Which is the worst for my creative energy and space. I really don't like working in a set schedule.... I do like guaranteed money but who doesn't. It's funny how it excites me to not know where the next day will take me. I'm over being so super responsible... I don't mind getting things taken care of but this 9-5 -ish is the worst for me.

I don't mean to come off as if I'm unappreciative of the situation I'm in I'm just ready for something different. I'm ready for this new chapter to open up so I can begin writing a new story. The story-line that I'm on is old and played out. When I visualize what I want and how I want things to be it's really difficult for me to look at my surroundings and not have/see what I've dreamt about.

I get impatient right at the completion of something, because I've usually been peaking over at the next thing for quite some time. I say all this to say that I'm ready for LA... I miss that energy. If you've ever been to LA you will understand what I mean. As soon as you step off the plane you feel it. It's an energy of opportunity and happiness.... Now I know there is a cutting part of LA and drive-by LA, but that's never been apart of my world so to me that doesn't exist.

I appreciate you being an ear this morning. Don't forget to jump over to my LA fund page and donate whatever you can!!! Here's the link! 21 DAYS!!!!

Wake up call.

I had a wonderful wake up call this morning. No, no one actually called me on my cellphone to wake me up this morning, but I sort of just had a small epiphany. I state all the time how you have to really watch the things that you say about yourself and to yourself because thoughts are actions....

What I failed to also comprehend is that what you put INTO your brain also has a major effect.

I do limit the ratchet things I tune into and the rid myself of the ratchet/dramatic people in my life, but it wasn't until this morning that I realized I need to revisit the those things I allow into this dome of mine. I know I'm in a great space mentally and physically, but I will always strive for greater.

This post is sparked by several things I experienced these past few days. The first thing was waking up and looking through social media and seeing a situation that bothered me a little. The fact that the victim is continuously shaping the situation and mindset so that she's made to be the victim is bothersome to me. Own it and change it... Don't complain about it but you're not really doing anything to stop the cycle. I'd love to help so much, but that's not my place. You have to let people go through what they go through and hope that one day they figure it out. You can't live someone else's life nor change it unless they really want it to change.

I just had to let that situation go, but it did spark a thought of "why am I even tuning into the drama/ratchetness???" It got thinking about the other "ratchetness" I allow into my space...

I have a secret to tell you all... yes, I do watch Love & Hip Hop Atlanta!!!! Duh duh duuuhhhhh.... lol... Nothing new to you though.

I use to say that I watched it for the drama because that's the only morsel of drama I will allow in my brain. However, I am realizing that I am making efforts to tune into it when it comes on Monday nights... yes I know the day and time.... I mean, this past Monday I had to resist the urge to go to the gym later so that I could watch it as I ran on the treadmill. Yeah, it's that deep. That bothers me. I don't want anything but dancing to have that type of effect on me. To make me want to change around my schedule to see it... that's a problem. That show is not worth it. lol...

Which brings me to this morning.... I reread this amazing article in Italian Vogue, I believe, and watched Jay-Z's interview on Hot 97 with Angie Martinez this morning and it just solidified things for me. To be great you have to surround yourself with great things.... Funny how my mind makes these connections, but hey, the wonderful attribute of being right brained...

But anyway.... I have to be a little more meticulous about a lot of things... and one being the things I allow into my psyche. I feel a new chapter starting not just in the physical but also mental.

I love mornings like this... the gloom/gloomy energy today has really helped to center my energy not to mention the 8 hours of sleep I got last night. Happy Hump Day!!! Don't forget to donate anything you can to my LA Fund.... Hit this link and it will take you there directly... Thanks in advance.... Love you guys for listening.

Today!!!

Today is probably one of the happiest days of my life!!!

I'm FINALLY about to start to make my final plans for moving to LA! Up until today I've have had a rough sketch of how things would go down due to it being so far out and specific details really couldn't be solidified so far out. I woke up after a very fun and inebriated weekend realizing this and it isn't got rid of my grogginess. I could not wait to get to work today to start on these details.

I'm ready to go and I can't wait to see what LA has to hold for me. I've been waiting for this stage for quite some time  now and now that it's here my fingers can't move fast enough!!!! I have so much to do, but I have enough time to do it in.... I'm very greatful for the wonderful energies around me and that the position that I've placed myself in.... Now it's time to put in more work and fall off the grid for a little bit.... I'll be posting still BUT not as often as I had been these past few weeks... Of course I will let you know via FB, Twitter, and/or Instagram when I post. Thank you guys for riding with me... Don't forget to donate ANYTHING to my LA Fund. The link is right here.

Finding a balance.

It has been a VERY busy weekend of work... Yes, I said work!!! Not to much dancing which has made me sad. I'm trying to find that balance again of going to class and doing promotional work, but it's proving to be a little bit difficult. This week marks a new start to achieving my goals and getting in what I need to get in.

I got a lot of inspiration the other night watching the BET awards. Seeing someone I personally know up on stage with R. Kelly was very exciting for me.... That moment told me that I'm super close.... I know I may sound like a geek, but I am really happy and proud of Zoe for getting that gig. That's major to me because I've known him for a few years now and we've talked about that kind of stuff. I'm also amazed at the opportunity Sabrina has with him.... I'm just sitting back and watching. It really motivates me and reinforces what I'm doing and where I'm going. I have nothing but love for all of my fellow St. Louis dancers. We go hard even when we don't have to.

I want to make mention that I currently have 37 days left in ST. LOUIS!!!Yeah, I know!!!!! I have a moment and a spare $5.00 go and donate that to my LA Fund. Click the link. I'm so friggen excited!!!! You have a small idea, but not really!!! I am so ready to go...hit the dang ground RUNNING!!!! This week is a new beginning and a small restart for me. I have a bunch of studio time scheduled for me and I'm so excited... Hopefully I can get some footage for you guys! By the way I will be starting up a new teaching gig this week so wish me luck.... I love the good people/energies around me... You get what you put out!

Live and Let Live....

Last night, better yet yesterday, was interesting to say the least.....

The major lesson I learned yesterday was to just let things go and don't dedicate energy to unnecessary, uncontrollable, and unimportant things bother me. Things happen and don't happen for a reason in my book.I don't allow myself to be crushed by everything that falls through or doesn't pan out like I want it too. Of course I'm human and I get disappointed, but my life doesn't stop there.

I allow the emotion. I experience it.... then I let it go. I'm getting better and better at doing this quickly. I don't really have anytime right now to lose my focus. I know where I'm going and I know what I will be doing in my near future. I have a clear vision.

"Action without vision is only passing time, vision without action is merely day dreaming, but vision with action can change the world."

- Nelson Mandela

I know that there may be some not so perfect moments in my life and I'm okay with that. It's my journey and no one else's.... That's why I take cues from other people, but don't expect my journey to be a carbon copy of someone else's. I take everything with a grain of salt because everyone has a story. Their thoughts, emotions, feelings etc. come from somewhere right? I just look at the experience and the opportunity they were presented and that I'm presented and work from their. Their experience is really of no concern to me because it's all in your energy and mindset.

I say this all to remind myself that this is my journey and to enjoy the rough patches and the process.

Good morning!

Neglect.

I know that you guys may feel like I'm neglecting you, but I'm not. lol... My schedule has been HEC-TIC!!! I am at a desk from 8a until about 5p and then off to teach, take class, do a promo or hit the gym Saturday to Saturday... A lot of the time it's all 4 in one day...... So when I get to work the next morning... I'm a drone.

My brain is turned all the way off and I am no good at writing any kind of update to my life. BUT!!! I'm getting better with it. I'd like to be more consistent with it, but I also really want to have something to say to you all. I don't want to post just for the sake of posting.

I popped in here so late in the day to let you know that I am still breathing and am still moving and grooving... I've just had a real few days... I will start vlogging more though... That may make things easier for you guys to keep up with me and what's going on. Thanks for tuning in and don't forget to donate whatever you can to my LA Fund.

This week... *face smack*

I'm looking at my calendar like O_o.... "Okay, *deep sigh* let's go!"

 I just need a good solid night of sleep. That's what I'm shooting for tonight, because tomorrow is going to be a doosey. I have a photoshoot that popped up on me that's tomorrow, and I have a long promo shoot tomorrow morning into the early afternoon.

I'm very excited about it yet I haven't really prepared properly for it.... So tonight!!! That's going to be my preparation time... I'm really geeked about it... Any------way... Here's my first vlog!!! Enjoy!!!

Man.... I am surprised EVERY single time!!!!

Sheesh!!! Thoughts are are actions... Whether they are you creating them or not... LOL! What I mean by is what you concentrate your attention on and want is EXACTLY what you friggen GET!!! Today for instance... I have just been thinking about the future and how I need to stack a little more bread for LA....

I put out into the universe THIS MORNING that I wanted to do more promos/subbing.... And what happens... I go on lunch and come back and in my email sits a request for me to sub a class TONIGHT... Now where I'm teaching I've never taught there before nor ever been there period. The only reason why I was asked to sub was from an dancing friend that works there. I haven't really talked to her in a few months and we talk occassionally about a job in the fall. 

I get an email saying that she found my resume submitted online and saw who my reference was. My reference works there and needed a sub. LOL! By the way, my reference wasn't the one that contacted me first..... 

Now, I know some of you may be thinking.... "that's nothing, but God." ... eehhhh... I don't really think so... Not in the religious sense.... I don't really believe anymore in organized religion/thought.... I look at the bigger picture and have the standpoint of their being an overall energy that we're all connected to. The bowing... knelling, incense...etc. I don't play into... To each is own....

What I'm trying to say is that your energy and the universe are directly connected.... NOT indirectly.... Directly.

Whatever you put out you get back good or bad.... In all actuality the universe doesn't know any different. It just gives/ provides what you push out of your being.... I know, I know.... This all sounds crazy, and well you may not agree. So! What I'm saying is that as of the last 6-7 months the things I've wanted and concentrated on have materialized... I haven't prayed. I haven't wished. I haven't hoped. I have a resolve that this is something that I want and I already have it I'm just waiting for it to show up in front of my face.

It is starting not to surprise me anymore, but more so tickled on how quickly it happens.... It's really scarey.... Wait, that's the wrong word to use... I don't want it to be scarey.... It sends an affect of something being scarey.... It sends a chill down my back... That chill when your body is excited... Yep! That's it!

That's only one little situation that I chose to share with you. It's actually happening to me all the time so that's where most of my resolve comes from. I know this sounds like a rant, but hey... THIS IS MY BLOG.... SOOOOOOOOO.... I hope you enjoyed it!

.....

Man... having a center is VERY important. Pain is the body's way of releasing weakness. So....with that said I am sore as fawk! LOL! But no, seriously... I have to say that I'm learning to chose my battles and just keep myself focused.... I never mind anything that's going to take my focus away from what I'm here to do. I realize that their are no prefect situations and that you should learn from EVERY situation.

I am and have been developing in several areas in my life that I never had before. Things that would have broken me in the past are no longer a factor when it comes to my energy. I know what my spirit is supposed to feel like and when it's off I make avenues to correct them. I'm stronger than I used to be both literally and figuratively.

I'm  also starting to put my past accomplishments in the forefront of my mind, so that I strengthen my foundation. I am so use to being on that treadmill of accomplishing things and then immediately archiving my them. I even use to have a standpoint that those that dwell on the past are stuck there...

You know what I'm talking about.

Those certain individuals that live in their "hay day" and are no longer living in their present. That's the reason I don't hold on to my current and past accomplishments for very long. I need to reassess that philosophy.... Well anyway.... Happy Humpday!!!!

I Literally Just Woke Up....

I've been at work since 8a this morning... However, me actually waking up did not occur until about 20 minutes ago, which was about 2p. Yeah... My brain was switched off for a bit..... I actually had to leave the office and take a quick walk around the campus to actually wake up....

The last few nights I've been up EXTREMELY late.... I'm slightly exaggerating due to it actually being 1a or 2a when I actually fall asleep. That's not bad right?!?!?! No, I'm getting right back up at like 6:30a and this body of mine is sore child! I'm not complaining or anything I just look real crazy most of the morning.... Funny thing is I may not look any different in my appearance other than my eyes being red but the hair, face, and outfit is done... same as usual....

I'm actually in the process of uploading a vlog from yesterday!!!

Yahhh!!!!! Woot woot..... *does snake* I know I have been promising you a vlog for a while now, but it's crazy trying to fit it into the hustle and bustle of everything.... I'm just now starting to figure out how to work iMovie on my iPad... So, please be patient with me.... I should have just gotten an MacBook air and called it a day.... I didn't do enough research on it and didn't know it was considered as a mobile device and not an actual computer... Womp.... I'm trying to resist getting a MacBook at this stage in my life.... I have way more  important things to spend my money on... you know... like clothes... LOL! But no seriously... I need to be keeping a stash for food and housing for LA....

Speaking of funding... Please jump over to my page on http://www.gofundme.com/LA-Fund and give whatever you can!!! Thanks in advance!!!

Memmh...

So I'm gearing up for a week full of dance. I'm so excited for all of these opportunities that are turning up for me. I have never been so amped about a Monday in my life.... I mean the fact that I can fit more dancing into my schedule makes me VERY happy.... It's not that I couldn't before it's just easier now that I'm not teaching as much...

No shade to teaching though... I just love is being the student more than the teacher... It's just less things to worry about. All you have to do is dance.... I love the solitude of going into a class and getting my mind right to give it everything I have. I watch myself improve and just get into it. That is the calmest my mind is all day.

I  have a dirty little secret to share with you though... I really get a kick out of shuffling from studio to studio... class to class... It's just something about the bustle of it that gets me going... So with that said I'm  looking forward to doing some studio hopping this week. Of course I will pop up at Pinx a few times, City Studio for potentially a Hip Hop or Modern class, Famous Fresh Studio and see what that Hip Hop Heels is talking about... Hopefully, a rehearsal will pop up somewhere during week I miss dancing with certain energies, and I may even shoot across the water to BEDA... I haven't been there in such a LONG time. I like my options right now. Just a few years ago I wouldn't have had a clue of where to go or who held great classes.... St. Louis is really starting to put itself on the map. Makes a girl like me VERY  happy.

I know there are a few more studios I didn't, but those that I have experience with or am familiar have peaked my interest the most. Hopefully I can get a few vlogging videos up so you can see things through my lenses.... We'll see how this turns out.

"Dope" by Anthony "Redd" Williams

In case you haven't seen this... "Dope" by @Anthony Redd Williams... Get into it!!!! View on YouTube if it's not populating on this post... I just thought you should have seen this gem.

DON'T FORGET!!!!

Help keep my yellow behind in LA!!!!

So I just wanted to remind you that you can donate at anytime.... I am definitely taking the right steps to keep me in LA, however every little bit helps and counts!!!!! So donate a $5, $10, $100 WHATEVER!!!!

I appreciate EVERY cent!!! Let's get to $3,000!!!!

Thanks in advance!!!

http://www.gofundme.com/LA-Fund

A few moments from my weekend.... Keek!!!

Kansas City Bound!!! About to chill something terrible... I was tired bootz in this photo.

My initial Keek when I got on the road RIGHT after work... Traffic blues. Can you tell that I'm tired?!?! LOL!!!! With my one earring on..... #ratchetkeeking....

Jun 14, 2013 | Too turns up.. . Smh by DesaraiMonae on Keek.com

If you guys didn't know I used to be a HUGE Mariah Carey fan... lol... This was me feeling it as I got into KC.... By this time I'd been in the car for about 3 hours and was all into my music... Ha! A mess.

Jun 14, 2013 | So, I'm channeling Mariah.... Get in... I love this song... by DesaraiMonae on Keek.com

Relaxed boots!!!! Sucha a good weekend!!! I did absolutely nothing except cuddle and hit the gym. Sometimes that's all you need in life is to just be still and held for a little while. Obviously, this doesn't occur normally in my everyday life so I soaked it all up..... Can't wait to do it again!!!

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That just put a huge smile on my face!!!!

The idea of me leaving in 54 Days keeps a smile on my face..... I know that I don't have that much of time left before I'm on the road west, but at the same time I feel like it's taking FOREVER!!!! Yes, I know. I should be patient, BUT that's not what my heart and mind are saying to me. They are already there... My physical is still here.... I'm doing everything that I can to prepare myself and my situation....

When I posted a few weeks back about moving by leaps and bounds I was not kidding.... I need to see improvement at every turn and event... I'm not kidding about this... I have set goals and know where I want to be in a year. The world is at my finger tips so why not strive for the stars... I'm so amped you have no idea!!!!

I'm trying my hardest to start vlogging for you guys so you can get my in the moment reactions, but momma is in a whole other world sometimes when I leave a rehearsal or class. The last thing that I'm thinking about is vlogging..... I use that time to process what has just happened.... what I can improve on... how I felt certain moments... where/when I need to push myself... staying in that moment.... It's all about staying in that moment and going for it all....

I will start working on the vlogging though so you can get a small glimpse of my world as I experience it. Happy Monday guys!!! I love Mondays!!! Why!?!?!?!? .... Because I get to start my dance week ALL OVER AGAIN!!! You know you love it!!!!

Hitting the road!!!

I so can't wait to get off work TA-DAY!!!! As soon as 4:30p hits all you will see is the dust spewing from the back of my car as I head down the freeway!!! Chile I must get to my boo!!!! Ha! I am ready to drink, sleep, relax, eat, and snuggle... Man... ain't that wat a girl needs!!! Turn up!!! 

Can you tell I'm excited??? Here's a moment of us... Love this guy!

Honey Boo Boo... Child!

I write to express my thoughts and emotions.... I write to get things off of my mind and out of my energy....

And honey today... I gotta get this "I want to mush her in the face" feeling out of my being..... This is not a normal situation for me to be in nor a normal way for me to react. HOWEVER, when I am tired and hungry you should just let this sleeping lion lye. Now I know what you are thinking.... How could she know that you are sleepy and tired? That's not the point.... My issue is her coming to me over petty things and going H.A.M. over these insignificant things. (Sidenote: I wouldn't actually mush her... It just makes me feel better to think about getting that energy out on her. :D)

I don't deal with dramatic people/characters... I love a person with personality, but don't deal with any unnecessary dramatic antics... I simply don't entertain the mess. When I get bored I will entertain drama via some ratchet television show... lol... That's as far as it goes for me.

The reason why I get so irritated/offended because I take it personally. You are currently wasting my valuable time and energy. I mean that last statement with all my heart. I DON'T like for my time nor energy to wasted on silly and petty things. I get real irritated and will give you the biggest seat I can carry.

I had to stop myself earlier from going into my boss' office and giving her back the energy she put off on me... I was serious about to give her a serious ki/seat. My reply to her insignificant and unwarranted reprimand would have made her feel a certain kind of way about herself. I would have remained polite and light toned but the words would have been slightly sarcastic in nature. I've been holding my tongue with her for a VERY long time. I have a little over a month left here so I take solace in knowing that this is only temporary.

She is the one that will have to live in her insecure space with her insignificant thoughts and feelings....*raises eyebrow and puckers lip* ....... I know that was a little harsh, but who gon' check me boo! Ha! I'm kidding... well, sort of... But for real, you have to give respect to get it. Plain and simple. I am corridual, but I don't like the hoe *pops gum* ... lol... I had another hood moment... But, in all seriousness I do NOT entertain that type of bs in my personal life and for damn sure am not taking it in my professional life. I be trying not to cut the bitch off in the middle of her sentences, but that hoe is close to getting a mush. Real talk.... (I know I keep going from normal to hood but that's because my filter is turned off due to fatigue).

That felt great guys! Thanks for letting me getting that one off... I giggled when I reread this post. I hope you got a chuckle or two out of it.

58 Days and COUNTING!!!!!!!!!!!

*does snake* I am sooooooooooooooo excited!!! My roommate just gave me so much life last night.... She was asked to go to on a random trip to the woods for this Woodstock -like concert..... That energy of: "I was asked to go today.... I'm jumping on the Greyhound to get there... We're camping and swimming.... There's going to be lots of drinking... and when I get back I'm headed off to Mexico." Werk B-tch!!! Like seriously....

I was and still am VERY excited for her. I love that type of energy... To just pick up and go!!! Jeebus!!! That energy is so friggen intoxicating to me... you have no idea. It just reminds me of what I'm doing right now and how long I have until I'm in LA!!!! I'm excited to hear the stories and the debachery that's about to ensue... You're only young once right..... What's the rush in trying to settle down, have children, and a set future. I'm still in my 20's I want to seriously live. Not be irresponsible, but do the things that are unconventional and not be thinking about what someone else thinks I should be doing at this age.

I don't want to settle down and raise a family at this point in life. I'm still exploring me and the world. When I've seen all that I can see that's when I think that I will start embracing the half of life. However, with that said I will not have a family that is stuck in the mud and only lives in one spot. I want a vacation home, I want to take exotic trips with my family, and I want them to also see the world with me. No suburb life for me... No thanks! I'm good. I am a city dweller always have and will be. Nothing stationary for the kid.... I like constant movement.... Life is to amazing to be sitting on the sidelines watching everyone else's story. I enjoy creating my own. 58 Days!!!  -->

Quote of the day.

"Confidence. Wear the clothes, don’t let the clothes wear you."

Tinie Tempah (Musician)

 

Finding my focus...

Today I've really been trying to find my focus. I'm extremely sleepy and definitely did not want to get up this morning. It's amazing how my body reacts when I haven't danced the night before. It may also have to do with not having any caffeine in my system from the night before. lol. I don't really do to much caffeine in my day I just take a high dosage at least two times a day. The rest of the day is spent drinking water. I'm not really into drinking sodas or juices. Juices tend to leave a weird taste in my mouth! - pause -

Anywho.... I have been trying to focus ALL morning on something and it has been a real challenge. I'm that tired. I thought to do so many things, but couldn't stay focused long enough to really delve into it. I chose to write these thoughts out hoping that it would somehow fuse with my coffee, and I could somehow miraculously begin to focus. Yeah, that happened... -_- ....

Well it helped a little bit to focus my thoughts... Sorry if this post seems a little bit of a ramble I'm just trying to get my mind back on a level playing field. My mind is currently in auto-pilot. My exterior looks as though I'm engaged in the day here at work, but my mind is totally in another place. Again, I just wanted to get these thoughts out of my head so that this fog lifts. Stay tuned though.... Another post is coming...

Hey!!!! This little ramble as allowed me to start thinking about something I wanted to talk about last night. I would have written it last night,  but I needed to go to sleep. Stay tuned..... Oh and don't forget to donate to my LA  Fund!!!

The power of your thoughts.

Man.... The things that you say to yourself are powerful in the actions that you make both conscious and unconsciously. I am starting to hit my stride. I don't know how many of you have ever ran track, but you know that feeling as you are finishing rounding the curve and leveling out. After you've leaned in and begin to hit the straight away... Yeah... I'm right there. I'm beginning to finish the curve right now. I'm yearning to hit my stride. It's coming, and it's coming soon. I can feel it.

It's funny how you clear some things can be yet others there's this cloud that encases it. I'm fanning away the smoke at this point. Sometimes, I can get in my own way by thinking to much, which has been a gift and a curse. When I get it, I get it. My brain is working so much and so hard sometimes I don't necessarily take the time out to really figure out what I'm missing. This is especially true when it comes to dancing... There may be a part or two that I don't fully understand, and unfortunately fail to ask for clarification due to my attention being on everything else within the routine.

It's funny how the mind works. It's a lot that goes on in my brain, and I think I've figured out to think, but not think. I know you are sitting there thinking "girl, whet?!?" I'm completely serious though.... While dancing, you need to have a level in your mind that you stay. It's not quite thought, but you're not quite brain dead/turned off. You can't be having a conversation with yourself or thinking about what's next necessarily. For me, I can't space. I have to be VERY present. I have to be in between each moment. When I'm dancing there is no concept of time just the space I'm in at that moment. So, when I randomly look up at the time during a water break I'm shocked (I don't know why I should be used to it) by how long I'd been dancing when it only felt like 15 minutes.

That present moment is what I call being in the vortex. Some of you may understand what I'm talking about, and have been tracking with me on that topic since my first post. That vortex is something major if you can really understand it and know how to just be there and allow it to happen. It's crazy how much I've developed in sensing when I'm in and out of the vortex. I look for cues that I'm in the vortex all the time. It'll do that when you're in it... Some see this kind of moment as being a coincidence or God showing up. I don't like those connotations, but I'm just trying to help you understand where I'm coming from.

I don't have an issue with religion. I just don't really agree with the ideology or philosophy of some separate entity having fully control of your life and you're just playing a part in it.The concept of being in the vortex and vibrating things (Being -not believing or wishing- what you want or having) is that you attract EVERYTHING that is in your life and that's happening to you. There is no outside entity that has caused what is currently occurring. You are the root.

I say this all to say watch your thoughts. Even the ones you aren't conscious of initially. I have realized that and my life has changed and is changing in SUCH an amazing away. I attribute that all to my positive and encouraging mindset, and also taking responsibility for my life and everything that occurs in it.
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Last night....

THE COFFEE JUST KICKED IN!!!!  YEAZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!

Last night's class felt AMAZING!!! I'm extremely excited about the rest of the week. Today I'm going to try and hit a few dance classes at the Famous Fresh Studios. Hopefully my rehearsal for my show on July 6th is early enough that I can hit another rehearsal later on in the night... LOL! Yeah I know..... 

*Kanye Shrug* 

But that's just what I want to do. It may seem like a lot and sometimes it can be, but when you love dancing like I do it's nothing... You just grab an energy drink and you focus. 

Focus was all that held me together last night.... When I say I was hot chile.... I was hot. No A/C and about 15 other hot bodies dancing around you and you have to go hard like them.... -ish got real.... MY behind decided I wanted to channel Trench of Naughty by Nature and I had on sweats and a beanie... #Fail ... Can we say pruney-bootz?!?!? I would have danced naked if I thought I would be less hot. It was cooler outside than it was in the studio... and this was around 10p at night. I'm not complaining I'm just letting you know what the real is.

I'm so thankful that I love water and got hipped to potassium pills... I started having a small problem w/ to much soreness and catching a lot of charlie-horses. Not for the kid. I have to keep myself in tip top shape b/c I do have to still get up the next morning and go to work.... That wakeup is the struggle sometimes.... Luckily I didn't put up curtains in my room..... The sun shining in helps me to actually get up. If my room was pitch black I wouldn't make it.... I'd also like to send a quick shoutout to the coffee machine in our office... double shot of espresso in my coffee every morning does the trick.

I say all to so say... HAPPY WEDNESDAY!!!!

Practice makes perfect...

Morning!

Soooooooo, last night's rehearsal was a real.... This is the playing field for me, and I am continuously realizing it. I have to keep myself aware of the stage, literally and figuratively, that I'm on. This helps me stay focused, grounded, and hungry. I'm shedding that feeling of contentment and comfort. Those types of spaces make me get to relaxed.

Now, I don't mean that I'm not happy or passionate about what I'm doing, but when I get comfortable I get relaxed in a few areas. Last night was a little bit of an eye opener. I know this though. I won't make the same mistake twice. You will only have to tell me something once and won't have to tell me again.

Practice makes perfect right..... More work needs to be put in. Even with my day jam packed I will still find some time to do what I need to do.

I'm looking forward to my show on July 6th. This is going to be a big stage that I'm hitting and I'm ready to be back there. I can't stand rehearsal, but I love to be on that stage. I know that I can't have one without the other, but it's just the energy of that crowd, the music, and the people I'm dancing around that gives me so much life.

I haven't hit a major stage in such a long time and I miss it! I miss getting all glammed up and into costume to put on a show. Dancing in the mirror only does so much for me.... I need a hit.... I need that stage.

So I must prepare prepare prepare. There's a serious focus that's coming over me. I'm tired as all get out, but that has no bearing on what I want and what I'm doing. You'll sleep when you're dead! Eye of the tiger!!!

This is my beastmode. -->

Sooooooo... I've been running....

I have picked up running again, and for the past few weeks it's really helped center me. I'm up to 4 miles right now in 45 minutes (not to shabby). I'm starting to push myself each time to run to go even further/longer. There's just something about running in Forest Park. Headphones on, the path in front of you, and no where to be but there. I enjoy this time the most.... I  go with friends occasionally, but I prefer to go by myself. This is actually becoming a new habit. It just does something for my spirit and energy. To be out there with the beautiful scenery and just be with myself is very soothing.

For the past few months I have been in this mode of having to always be somewhere and completing something. It's just been this consistent go go go reality and I've missed my moments to myself. These runs allow me a moment to myself. I'm not concerned with what's going on in the rest of my world, but what's going on in the moment at hand.

I have tons of time to reflect on what's happened in the last few days and also dream. Now don't get me wrong the run can be a bit taxing, but that's a part of it. I'm no marathon runner, but I can hold my own.

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By Leaps and Bounds....

Man... The power of the mind!!! I am really trying my best to get into vlogging while I'm at rehearsal or class, but it's just so hard to do so when I'm  in the moment. I want you guys to experience it with me, but that is proving to be a real struggle. Last night's was a great class.... I mean the energy was there. The sweat was DEFINITELY there, and the difficulty is always there. Redd can throw some serious choreography at you consistently. I have yet to meet a person that can just come in his class and pick it up without sweating.... That's not an option. Great mind.

I can tell that everything is improving for me.... My focus can get a little off when I get too hot or tired. Pinx Dance Academy can get really hot at night with 80 people dancing in there. It really makes you channel your energy and focus while dancing in that studio. There's only water and a dream there for you there. No comforts of A/C or consistent ventilation, that's not real life to me. No studio has a perfect atmosphere. You shouldn't be looking for that. You're just going to sweat, period, the more the better. I don't mind it though. I can usually eat what I want because of these type of workouts.

Anyway.

After a few nights of reflection of my craft I've noticed a real change in my abilities. I don't need a validation from someone else of what is happening I just see it and feel it. Why the change?!?! No idea, but it's occurring in leaps and bounds. I could speculate that it has something to do with me leaving for LA soon, but who knows. I just know that I am going to look completely different from now, the start of June, to the start of August.

I just wanted to pop in this morning and share a few thoughts with you guys. I'll be posting all day so stay tuned... By the way don't forget to donate whatever you can to my My LA Fund! Thanks in advance.

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My Natural HAIR!!!!

My other hair and reaction to my last class at Michele's School of Dance. http://www.keek.com/!gBFucab

Jun 8, 2013 | My other hair and reaction to my last class at Michele's School of Dance. by DesaraiMonae on Keek.com

New bootz!!! - Literally.

I can not wait for these bad boys to come in the mail chile.

by Charles David

Until yesterday, that was probably  the first time that I've seriously danced in heels.

(O_O) 

Yes, I know. 

In the past I've gone out numerous of times with sky high heels on, but it was a limited number of hours in them and I wasn't dancing the ENTIRE time.... I'll have to admit it was damn crazy!

I think I was in rehearsal for maybe 3 hours or so.... And these toes were not the happiest of campers. The heels I had on were NOT cutting it, so I had to scoop up these girlz. Now I know what you're thinking... they're basic.... Well, that's exactly what I needed. That's the whole concept for dancing behind an artist. Simple yet cute clothes to let your personality and choreography speak for itself.

Secretly rehearsal and dance classes are the places where dancers get their life when it comes to outfits.... I know that I do. Here are a few I just found, and fair warning their all selfies... lol.

My LA Fund!!!

Soooo as you guys may or may not know I have setup an account on this fundraising site. It's COMPLETELY legitimate. I've already dontated to myself (to see if it works), and so has both friends and family. 

This fund was setup for me to be able to remain in LA and sustain myself once I'm there. I'm already taking proper steps to set myself up, but I also need you guys help! Donate WHATEVER you can... Whether it's something that folds or something jingles it all works for me..... Give whatever your can AND as often as you are able. 

I normally don't ask for this type of help in such a public setting, but hey.... what the hell. Feel free to chat me up, forward the page to other friends and family, and last but not least donate. This helps me keep you guys updated with what's going on with me so that once I get to LA I won't have to work at 80 different places to cover living expenses. 
I just want to give you guys a little more information just in case you were wondering. Thank you guys for tuning in, and I'll be posting a lot more in the next few weeks! 

xoxoxoxo

Here's the link: My LA Fund

Then and Now...

Originally composed February 27th, 2010

"For the past few years I've dedicated a tremendous amount of time in thought about my life and constantly reevaluating myself as a dancer.... I can only speak for myself, but I'm pretty sure that other dancers have this same sentiment.

I don't question my talent per say  but whether I have enough in me to out do this and that bitch.... Outlast that bitch if it kills you! Now I know that that may come across harsh but that's how I feel about other dancers... It's not a personal judgment of their character but that they are going for what I was put on this earth to do ....so 

I'm not gonna be polite about it... If you step on the dance floor w/ me I'm going for necks....... I'm specifically gunning for major veins... Real Rap!”

*Flavor Flav Voice* 
Wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wow wow wowwwwwww!!!!

These were the life and times of Desarai Monae. 

I think when I killed my alter ego the spirit of her died along with her..... smh....

 I wrote the above piece well over 3 years ago February 27th, 20101 to be exact. Where has the time gone and what happened to this mentality? It’s not completely gone, but it’s not on this level... Wow! I'm currently sitting thinking about how turned up I USE to be....

Man! I'm such a granny now.... I use to live on THEE edge! I need that young 20 something spirit again.
I know that it's still in me I just need to tap back into that energy. Here are some photographic highlights....

I just went completely dormant... Like hermit mode 100% .... I know that I got really focused, but that also made me lose some of that organic free spirited energy. I have been trying to put my finger on that thing that I lost and this is it. I'm getting back to this asap. Man I had so much fun!!! Welp! Enjoy the photos guys.