Midnight moments.... (Part 1)

Written at 12:04a

They say a mind is a terrible thing to waste..... Well, sometimes it's a talent behind that mind that is getting wasted. I feel this to be true sometimes for me. This isn't going to be a sob story or a woe is me type situation, but just overcoming your obstacles.

The things that are hard for some come are simple for me and vice versa. I know how to move and grove and be independent as an adult. I know how to maneuver, hustle, and make $0.10 into $10. Those type of logical 1,2,3 step things just happen for me. I know how to talk to people, read a situation and then decide what type of player I'm going to be. 

I'm great at doing things and adapting to things that are outside of me. However, when it comes to the things I have within in me I always have this small voice of doubt in the back of my mind. Now as I've gotten older I've learned her voice and when she tends to appear. She's the product of years of various struggles. She's the voice that has gotten me through hard things yet also the same voice that kept me from a lot of great things. She's even teased me having allowed me to see how great I can be. 

I say this all to get to the point that I'm sort of in limbo. I see the end of the tunnel yet I don't really know if I've moved closer to it. Sometimes you have to learn how to get out of your own way. I know my triggers and yet they're still my triggers, that sometimes infuriates me. It's like this is what's wrong and this how you fix it, but in the process of fixing it you lose your cause because of unimportant distractions.

I may be rambling a bit, but these are my thoughts after an intense rehearsal. I always reflect after a class or rehearsal, and kind of gauge where I am and how far I still need to improve. The mind is a terrible thing to waste, but it's even worse when that wasted mind is wasting talent. That voice has built a high wall for me and I should not be giving it power by speaking on it, but I should also not stuff it back down in the recesses of my mind. 

There's this new philosophy that I have been attempting to adapt into my psyche. To allow the emotion to occur, experience it, and then release it. I have never been a die-hard Beyonce fan, however when she said that things just clicked. I need to feel these things and then channel it in the right direction instead of stuffing them down into my core energy. This is one part of what I talked about the other day's post about learning to hold my space. 

I just need to express these thoughts so I could sleep. Sweet dreams guys!!! Thanks for tuning in....

xoxoxoxoxox

Aparment Hunt!!!

I'm excited to announce that I've begun the process of apartment hunting!!!!! I'm so geeked about it. There are a few areas that I would not mind living in so if any of you know of any great rental properties in the areas I'm about to name PLEASE feel free to let me know. The areas I'm interested in are as follows: North Hollywood (Arts District or surrounding area) Burbank (South or West), Studio City, Hollywood, Sherman Oaks, eastern Van Nuys, Valley Village, Valley Glen, and Universal City.

I want to stay in the valley near all the studios and close to where the 405 and/or the 5. Anywhere I need to go I need to be able to get there quickly. Also, if you know anyone looking for a roommate I'm a great candidate! I'm really serious though. I'm never at my apartment and I am a very clean person but not OCD.

But anyway I'm looking forward to this move, but that this extremely LONG drive. I know of two people that have done it in the past 3 weeks and it's EXTREMELY motivating because there were only 2 drives. I'm sure me and the boo can gett'er done in a day, right?!?!? (He's probably giving me a side right now as he reads this...) I don't want to waste any time or money stopping... I'll do most of the driving if it comes down to that, but I highly doubt he'll put that type of heavy load on my should. We're in it to win it.

I see all this happening VERY soon.... He will help me get settled fairly quickly and it will be off to the races. I don't plan on taking to much stuff with me other than clothes, toiletries, a few kitchen items (just in case I get a 1-bedroom), my blow-up mattress, a set of bedding, and my dream. That's all I need right. The focus is my dream.... As long as I have heat/air, indoors, hot water, and food this chile is good. Bare minimums.

Sore Boots!!!

So a friend and I decided that we would run a few miles yesterday in Forest Park -_- . Cool right? No, my behind decided that I would go to night class a few hours later.... Chile, my legs.... It's a happy pain though, but still I'm feeling IT. I got up to use the restroom in the middle of the night of the night and thought that my legs were going to give out from under me. I need to go running more often and kick up my workouts!!! I have goals....

Jun 5, 2013 | After night class face... Hi guys!! by DesaraiMonae on Keek.com

I'm starting,"starting" being the keyword here, to get into Keek. I like the little short vids. I don't have my Mac yet so editing on my little netbook is out of the question and my iPad is not really any easier. So the full on vlog will just have to wait. 

But anyway, class felt great last night. I felt different last night. I really don't want to go into to much detail about it just know I feel more focused. There are some extremely amazing doors being opened for me right now and I'm jumping at every opportunity that fits and feels right. 

I have some amazing energies around my life that have donated to my LA fund, and I appreciate EVERY penny. Here's the link to My LA Fund. Please share this with any and everyone you know. I'm a young and talented person pursuing her dreams... Why not support it. Thank you guys so much for tuning in and going on this journey with me. Even though I'm by myself most of the time I know I'm not alone. I have wonderful people backing me. 

Happy Humpday!!!